One of those mornings...

Dear Life,

It's been "one of those mornings" if you know what I mean. Miss E woke up on the semi-crabby, don't set me down, I don't know what I want or need side of things... but came around after we got a fresh diaper on and some food in her tummy. We did some playing and cuddling and book reading and at about 9:30 I decided it was nap time so she'd wake up in plenty of time to get to church by 11:00. She talked and babbled for awhile... and then her tune turned sour and got louder and louder... causing me to question the state of her diaper. Sure enough, she had a messy diaper... I changed it, cuddled her back up, gave her some kisses and love, and layed her back down for a nap. A very long ten minutes of hollaring later she gave in and went to sleep. At 10:15. So here I sit... completely ready for church, knowing full well that if I want to make it to church on time I'll have to wake my cranky-in-need-of-sleep babe up in 15 minutes.

It's just not going to happen.

So if she wakes up in time, great! We'll go to church. And if not... great! She'll have a nice long nap and wake up refreshed and ready for the rest of the day. Jordan is in Bismarck for a golf tournament this weekend, so he and I plan to listen to a sermon together tonight when he gets home tonight anyway. Definitely not a substitute for being at church... but in a pinch it will do.

I am cherishing the cuddles and playing and time together with E in a whole new way now that I'm gone in the mornings five days a week. I couldn't have even imagined how much I'd miss that sweet child of mine in four hours a day. And she is usually napping at least an hour of that time, maybe more! But I do miss her. And I also feel this little bit of release... the opportunity to give Jordan that time with his daughter and Emberly time with her dad... to use the education and learning and language that I studied... even in hopes that it will help me better teach my own children someday... and even to simply have adult conversations. So far, it feels like a good fit. Exhausting in a different way? Definitely. But still good.

Can I just say for one moment that I am still practicing how to choke out the words "one-year-old" in reference to my sweet child? She will be ONE. On Friday. Less than a week away. And she walks and communicates and has a sense of humor and loves to be outside and plays with toys all by herself. It is the strangest thing in the whole wide world to me. She has grown up before my very own eyes and I can hardly understand it. Strange.

Well... I'm off to finish a few dishes...

Molly