Change Ahead

Dear Life,

We got official word that Jordan leaves for Officer Training (to start the process of becoming a pilot) at the end of March. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks. He is in fact leaving. 

His application to get an officer slot was accepted almost a year and a half ago. We found out we were pregnant the day before we got the news. We were living in a different house, with a family of 3. And it felt like such a crazy decision, but we just had this crazy peace that this is what the Lord intended for our family, not knowing one bit that we'd be living in a different house, have a 2.5 year old and 7 month old when it actually happened, that officer training would be extended, or anything else. But God asked my over-controlling, ducks in a row, hate it when my husband leaves for a weekend, type-A personality to trust Him and that he held the unknown in His hand.

It's good to remind myself of that... because right now I don't feel the crazy peace that I did when we made the decision. I just feel kind of crazy. I feel emotional that my girls will be without a daddy for 14ish weeks and emotional that I will be without the support, encouragement, and just general awesomeness of my best friend for that long too. Already I'm playing the "what if the power goes out and I can't find a flashlight?" or "what if the dryer quits and I need to decide if we need to fix it or buy a new one?" or "what if one of the girls gets sick in the night and we need to go to the doctor?" game. {Why are my scenarios so silly? I have no idea. But seriously... I keep dreaming about these things. Last night I had a dream that Emberly's nightlight needed new batteries and I couldn't figure it out...}

I have written and rewritten multiple calendar pages of things we are going to do while he's gone to pass the time, countdowns of how many days he'll be gone the first time, (it's 51 days in case you were curious... with very minimal contact) and when I'm supposed to pay the bills, take out the trash, and all that jazz.

This is not proving that I am letting Christ give me peace that surpasses all understanding.

I'm not entirely sure how to do that, to be honest... to let Christ rule in my heart and take away the fear of the unknown. But I do know how to pray, and when I pray, my fears calm. And I do know what the Lord promises in scripture, that when I trust in Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding, but instead acknowledge Him, and He will make our paths straight.

I think I need some new post-its to stick reminders all over my house. Plus, who doesn't love new post-its?  Lemonade from lemons, right?

SO... do you have any favorite scriptures for times when your life gets rocky? Or that have greatly impacted you during tough times? I'd love it if you shared... :)

And if you are a praying person, I'd love it if you prayed too.