I've been absent. I think I've literally been trying to soak up every possible moment with Jordan home that I can before he has to leave again.
We just spent the weekend at the lake. We got home this afternoon after half-naps in the car and my children started detoxing from the grandparent high. Parents know what I'm talking about. Where your children are so used to being held, talked to, played with, spoiled (in the very best and most sincere of ways)... and then you get home to bedtimes and rules and food that comes in the "take it or leave it" variety... it's harsh.
But it's 7:15 and Emmy has been freshly plunked into bed, and I'm currently rocking a very passed out Piper. It's like medicine to my weary soul. Sometimes being a mom is just plain hard.
You know, I think parenting looks kind of crazy to people on the outside. You choose to have these needy, helpless, crazy kids who do their very best to just suck the life out of you one demand, cry, whine at a time. They don't see the love behind it all. Let's be honest, sometimes I don't even see the love behind it all. I'm thankful for this picture though, it reminds me how I look to Jesus, offering absolutely nothing in return for His love... and yet I have it anyway. It is insanely humbling.
Anywho. Currently Piper crawls at crazy fast speeds and is literally all movement and no brains. She pulls herself up on just about anything and hurts herself getting back down just about half of the time. She sits at my feet with her hands raised in the air, whining for me to pick her up, and then as soon as I do, she digs her feet into my stomach (the one I have from carrying two bambinos for 9 months each, thank you very much), and cries and begs to be put down.
Emberly is just a bundle of emotion, motion, and words. She never stops singing or talking and she is always telling me about why some owie is hurting or why a rule that we are enforcing is making her "so very sad." She bounce-runs wherever she goes, and is day-time potty trained minus #2. Sigh, #2. I have literally never talked so much about bowel movements and urination in my life.
I feel a little bit like the day-to-day is on repeat. Like when you're listening to a good song on a CD so you hit the "repeat song" button and listen to it again and again. And pretty soon that song you loved is getting ordinary. Maybe even kind of frustrating or annoying. And I hate that. Because these little miracles are the farthest thing from ordinary.
Must be time to change the CD and ask the Lord for new perspective. I just plain forget sometimes. But looking at these beautiful faces, how is that even possible?
What do you do when you need new perspective?
Oh how I love you Molly girl! You inspire me as I watch you walk such a familiar road with your little girlies and as you speak honestly and ask for your Father's help even if it's a faint whisper from a weary soul. He shines brightly through your faithful mothering and your genuineness. I am often in need of perspective myself and it looks so different each time I need it. Sickness that makes me grateful for the healthy days I so easily take for granted. The stories of others around me, conversations with friends or someone I barely know that is timed perfectly. A fresh cup of coffee on the brink of a day filled with brand new mercies. A glimpse of life on the other side of the world via news or real-life stories. Hope that there is nothing I can do to cause my Father to love me any more or less - that I am safe and secure always in those arms. And of course the classic perspective of rocking a clean, sleeping, healthy little one in my arms at the end of a tiring day. : ) Praying for you sweet mama and so glad you are using your minutes wisely to soak up being all together again!! love you!!
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