Our First Days of School...

My sweet Emberly is starting Kindergarten this year.  I feel like I should follow that with a big "gulp" but I am honestly just very excited for her.

We are homeschooling, so I don't feel like I need to have all of the emotions that go along with wondering whether or not she will be ok without me, if she will make friends, whether or not she will be kind or polite to others, if her teacher will like her, or if she will try to run the class herself... 

I know this is not for everyone, but we are just really thankful for this soft entrance into the school year.  We are praying it will be something that we continue to enjoy and that will be a good fit for each of our children, but we are willing to evaluate year after year to see if that is the case.  This is not a blanket "forever we homeschool!"  Simply a "for now this is right for us."  

  I've been dreaming about this day from the time I quit my classroom job.  Not because I felt like I was missing out.  Teaching other people's kids while someone else teaches yours just didn't make sense for us.  It wasn't hard to transfer all of my brain bites to my own children when we decided that the classroom took too much and gave too little.  But there was always a little something inside of me that missed teaching.  Teaching my own children feels like the best of both worlds.

So here we start.

With my sweet turning 5 year old in just a few days.  

Kindergarten will be filled with fun and flexibility to learn and explore in the ways we see fit.  For my eager to learn child who can already read quite well, can count well above 100, and can articulate many well thought out ideas, kindergarten might be more about learning to learn from mom than learning the content itself.

And that is ok.  

I've chosen curriculum that would be entirely appropriate to be spread over two years if we need to slow down.  But I'm imagining that once we start, she won't want to stop.

I can't wait to see her mind start connecting all of the dots.  

I've debated whether or not I should write out what curriculum we're using because I feel like it just causes my heart to feel a little bit anxious.  There are SO many different choices for curriculum.  It seems to me that everyone decides to homeschool for different reasons.  You may know more about these choices than some people, or you may know less.  It gives an opportunity for you to agree or disagree with me, and even though I generally don't care, for some reason this feels a bit vulnerable to me.  But I know that when I hit the point that I want to start Kindergarten with Piper or Grayson, I will want to remember what we did.  So for better or for worse, here are my picks.  I feel pretty convinced I have too much stuff.  And I know it is not perfect.  But this is where we are starting.    

Handwriting: A Reason for Handwriting - K

Bible: Grapevine Traceable Units - Creation to Babel

Phonics/Reading: All About Reading Level 1

Math: Math-u-See Alpha

Art: Home Art Studio - K

Social Studies: Pearson My World S.S.  

Science: Sonlight Science A

Supplemental: COAH K4/5 curriculum

Abeka K5 Letters & Sounds

Abeka K5 Think and Learn

COAH Daily Learning Notebook

 So far we've added Handwriting, Daily Learning Notebook, and Math into our lives over the past two weeks.  We will gradually keep adding more until we have a full coarse load.  I do not intend to teach everything every week... but time will tell! 

And don't forget about my sweet Miss Pip! She is more than just along for the ride. I can tell she is learning by osmosis. We throw in all sorts of fine motor, gross motor, art, alphabet, number correspondence, sorting, and BOOKS galore to give her a nice preschool experience. Nothing is formal, and that is perfect for us at this time.

Refinement

I wrote this blog post when Grayson was about three weeks old. I found it yesterday and am uncertain why I never hit the publish button. Maybe I wondered if I made sense. Or if other people could relate.  Either way, here it is. 

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It's 9am on Friday morning and I am sitting down to dump a few thoughts out of my brain as I eat a very soggy bowl of cheerios that I poured over 30 minutes ago while I keep replacing the pacifier in Grayson's mouth as he attempts to sleep in the swing next to me and the girls are doing who knows what downstairs... Let's be honest.  Life is a little different with the addition of a third.  

It's funny really, because people keep asking me this "How ARE you doing REALLY?" question as if I'm lying when I give them the "we are doing well!" answer.  We really ARE doing well.  I think.  It's hard to sum up the addition of a new needy little person and the subtraction of all kinds of sleep and sanity and showers and stuff.  Because it just isn't a fair math problem.  Grayson will always be better than those other things.

But that doesn't mean that I sometimes catch myself saying or doing things that I never thought I would be saying or doing...

Like potty training Piper just a few days after we brought Grayson home from the hospital because Jordan is on paternity leave so #heywhynot.

And consequently cleaning up more poop than I ever knew was possible.

Or changing my clothes approximately 473 times a day thanks to the abundance of spit up one tiny little human can produce.

Or reading a book to one kid while nursing the babe and "overhearing" silence from the middle kid and therefore needing to dash to the bathroom (babe still attached) to find said potty training child dumping their own potty from the potty chair into the toilet...

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So back to that question about how we're doing.  

I think my token answer has been that the transition from one to two was a lot more difficult than two to three.  And I know you probably think I'm crazy.  Or lying.  Or maybe both.  

But here's the difference.

When you have one child, you're a little bit of a mess as a parent because you're learning everything for the first time.  And then you slowly but surely start to figure things out and develop opinions on how parenting should work and how children should behave based on the fact that it is currently working for you and that one child.  

And then whether you'd admit it or not, you kinda think it will work exactly the same way for the second child.  Except this time you have fewer hands and far less time and far less sleep and far less patience.  So before when you could politely ask your child to get their shoes on at the door and wait until they were "ready to make the right choice" and blah blah blah... you suddenly now have a screaming new baby in a carseat and you've already told your child 7 times to get their shoes on, and instead of making a calm and rational choice, you do that thing you've seen other parents do that you would NEVER do and you maybe raise your voice. Or give a spanking. Or fill in the blank. The control you once thought you had and the predictability that you were so sure of is suddenly gone. And you mourn that loss for a long time after the birth of number two, all while feeling guilty that you decided to raise another human.

But gradually over time you realize that baby number two is a great gift to both your refinement and the refinement of your first. The Lord is using them to teach you about your sin, your idols, your comforts, your heart... and the list goes on.

As you learn about your lack of control, you start to relax a little. Your love is no less strong, your standards are no less high, you just start to realize that your child will in fact be ok (maybe even better) if you start to let them make a few mistakes. Or make a mess. Or skip a nap. (Not to mention that you've just plain run out of hands and capacity to do for subsequent children what you've done for the first.)

And then you get to child number three and you already realize you have no control. You already realize that they will not always obey, or listen, or use manners. You already realize that they too are little sinners just like you are. You already realize that your kids are going to be unattended at some moments. You already realize that you cannot be their sole source of entertainment.  You already realize that you're going to need to ask people for help sometimes. You don't have time to think about how little sleep you're getting. You don't have time to question if you're doing the best or most perfect thing. You do realize that you are probably not doing the best or most perfect thing, and by God's grace alone it is going to be ok.

And that is why we are doing well after the addition of this sweet babe. Because if there was any illusion before that we had this all figured out, it is clear now that we don't. We've embraced it. We've repented of it. We will continue to repent of it. And day by day we will get to live this messy life together as completely sinful, but fully accepted sons and daughters of the most high King because of what Christ has done for us.  

California and Life and Stuff

This is going to be a big brain dump, because I haven't blogged in a long time.  Because #threekids.

1. We are currently residing in California.  Jordan has been here almost 3 weeks.  The kids and I flew here almost 2 weeks ago.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Go ahead, call me super mom.  (KIDDING.)  More accurately, call me crazy.  The flight was actually really great.  The kids were awesome.  But I don't want to do that again for a long, long time.

2. We will stay in California while Jordan does some training.  I am only allowed to post this on the world wide web because there are people living in our house and because I am using all sorts of non-specifics, thank you OPSEC.  Since arriving here, we have adjusted to a two time zone difference, made friends with all of the animals on the ranch we are staying at, made multiple stops to Targets, grocery stores, Costco, etc., found a library to check out books, been to the beach, attended a rehearsal dinner and participated in a wedding for great friends (Emberly was the flower girl), hosted friends at our ranch home for 4 days, and found Disney Land.  No big deal. 

3.  On Monday we went to Disney Land.  PEOPLE.  It was amazing.  I kid you not, we could have stopped after the bus ride from our car to the park and we would have been winners.  They were enthralled.  We were total skeptics, but the girls loved every single moment.  The characters, the rides, the food, the parade, the shows, the company.  It was just a win win win win win.  As we were riding the bus back to our car at 10pm, Emberly was telling everyone jokes on the bus.  There was not one single tear shed by any of my children in the 8 hours we were there.  And let's be honest... that hardly happens at home.      

4. Grayson is finally starting to be able to be distracted beyond his belly.  This is my favorite, because I can convince him to wait between feedings if say some other child is having a meltdown or something. (This never happens...) He also finally has a nap schedule and is putting himself to sleep at nap time during the day.  Unfortunately, his nighttime routine is not so predictable.  My sweet baby who was sleeping for 8, 10, or 12 hours through the night several months ago is now waking up once, twice, or even three times during the night.  It's usually a quick wake-up and right back to sleep, but I'm ready to be done with that any time.  Grayson is also worming his way around on his belly... it seems that crawling is inevitable.  He has all kinds of opinion on what he wants and thinks his sisters are just absolutely hilarious.

   

5.  Piper is really coming out of her shell.  She seems to bounce, jump, or leap off of any and everything.  She's still struggling with putting things in her mouth, but it is not nearly to the degree it used to be.  She sounds like a big kid when she talks, and plays really well with Emberly (most days).  Her default is to scream whenever she can't get words out to communicate what she needs or wants fast enough... but even that has become a lot better.  Her imagination is crazy great, and she is always dancing, singing, or twirling in some way.  She knows about half of her alphabet, and has pretty much no motivation to learn the others.  :)  She is her own animal! 

6.  Emberly is reading.  READING!  It just sort of happened in the last month or two.  She can read beginning readers, lots and lots of sight words, CVC words, many long vowel words, and many common daily words.  She wants to read everything, and is always asking us about signs while we are driving or labels on boxes, etc.  We have decided that she will start kindergarten this year, even though she misses the age cut-off in our school district by about 30 days.  We are going to give homeschooling a shot, so worst case scenario, we will just slow way down or stop until next year.  I can't really imagine this happening though... she is a very motivated learner.  But you never know!  So stay tuned for our crazy home school life posts that are sure to come... 

I think that is about it for now! 

   

Miss Pip

Today I got to take my sweet Piper (Miss Pip, Pipey, Pie-Pie, Pippy...) to Walmart without the rest of my crew (super classy outing)... (and yes, you become a "crew" at 3). 

I'm rambling. Already. Anywho, it was just so glorious. One on one time with any of my little people is just so great. I sometimes forget who they are apart from their siblings. Suddenly my (overall) well behaved children turn into monsters deliberately sabotaging my ability to be on time and/or give off the appearance of having a relative amount of control in my life. 

But when they are alone they get a moment to shine. And I kid you not, Piper did not stop talking from the moment we walked out the door until we returned home. ("Mommy look over there! I see the Walmart. I'll point to it so you can see it too. Does Walmart have groceries? What kind of groceries do we need? Don't forget to buy bananas. And cucumbers too mama. I love cucumbers. But mostly I like my vegetables cooked, not raw. Except carrots. I like raw carrots. But I like my broccoli cooked. Do we need broccoli mama? Should I hold your hand when we get out of the van? How about I ride in the cart too. I'll be your helper. See that girl helping her mama? She's carrying something really big! That man has a chair with wheels! I'm in a cart with wheels. Look! Donuts! I LIKE donuts!") 

It was precious. 

She's pretty great. I wish I had taken a picture. But I didn't. So I'll leave you with these two pictures that capture "Piper" right now. The first one is of her chewing on her brand new sensory chew necklace. (Saving my dining room table corners, one necklace at a time...) and the second is Pippy all cozied up to Grayson, holding his hand just because. 

At any given moment...

Sometimes I really think I hear the music. You know, the circus music that accompanies utter chaos, dare devilish acts, or the little monkeys on unicycles doing crazy things at high speeds...

This week I sat down to nurse Grayson for 15 minutes (in the living room people, I was not in a room with a closed door or anything). In that 15 minutes one child found Chapstick and put it all over four of her dolls' feet in attempt to stick them to the table. I heard her creating the scene out loud as she often does, saying something to the effect of "oh no! You walked through goo in the forest and got stuck!" to which I immediately asked, "Emberly, what are you using for goo?" to which she responded, "sorry mama..."

In that same nursing session the other one had taken a roll of toilet paper out of the bathroom and ripped it to shreds and shoved it down the floor vent. #notkidding

That very same day (Jordan's birthday) I left for 25 minutes to go to the chiropractor. We had just eaten tacos for lunch. And guac. And chocolate cake. Jordan sent the girls downstairs to play while he cleaned up lunch. This is not unusual. They started jumping on the trampoline. Suddenly Emberly yelled to Jordan to come quickly. Piper coughed herself into a puking frenzy. On the trampoline. Then Emberly looked and started sympathy puking. Both of them. Entire lunches. All over the trampoline. I came home to them in the bath. Praise the Lord Grayson slept through it all.  Happy Birthday Jordan. 

Read this if you have kids that cough all winter and you want to laugh. This is my life: http://www.momnewsdaily.com/the-five-stages-of-dealing-with-your-childs-winter-cough/

So I just can't take a hint that maybe the day is shot and we went to the library that afternoon. Grayson was supposed to be napping so I figured he'd snooze away in the stroller. WRONG. He fussed and cried and insisted he was hungry even though I fed him immediately before we left. I finally gave up and sat down to nurse him in the kid area Wiggle Room and just as I got comfortable Piper needed to use the bathroom. Those darn little potties at the library and their novelty.  Double stroller, library tote on wheels, nursing baby, mama, and two kids into the bathroom... 

We went home after that. My kids watched more TV than necessary. And we went to bed. 

I'm not gonna lie... It's crazy. But it's also my brand of crazy. And I'm not even trying to wrap the crazy up into a nice little package and stick a fancy little bow on it... but I mean it when I say that I'd have it no other way. :) 

The End. 

The Day Grayson was Born

I felt like it would be "any day" for almost two full weeks leading up to Grayon's birthday. My body had made good progress and I was just super convinced (or maybe just super hopeful) that I would have this baby before my brother's January 2nd wedding so that I wouldn't have to worry about having a Bismarck baby (or I-94 baby for that matter)...

But alas, Grayson Michael was on his own schedule, and I never should have doubted the Lord's perfect timing of it all.

We went to the Bismarck wedding and stayed at a hotel that just so happened to be literally across the street from the hospital, so I had no reason to worry.  The girls were in less than perfect form with some tummy troubles and very little sleep due to our close quarters. Adding a newborn to that mix would have been awful. Seriously awful. 

But we plowed through the weekend. Emberly rocked the flower girl thing. We were able to attend their perfect wedding, and we made it home at all of my 39 weeks and 6 days pregnant. To say I was relieved would be an understatement. 

My 40 week appointment was the next day and my regular doctor (who delivered both of the girls and had seen me every single appointment for both girls and Gray) was on vacation. But I was determined to not wait until he got back to deliver this baby so I asked to have my membranes stripped yet again. 

This time the magic happened and I started to feel like I was going to have this baby for real. When I told Jordan this, he asked me what felt different and I didn't have a clue. I just felt like baby was coming.

Piper was up a gazillion times in the night that night, which is not her usual. The last time I got up with her at 5am, I went to use the bathroom before crawling back into bed, and my water broke. I wish I could say I was all like, "game on" ... but I was actually super tired. I woke up Jordan and we made phone calls and finished packing our things. We both showered and got semi ready for the day, and made it to the hospital around 6am. 

At this point I still wasn't 100% sure my water had broken, so they tested and sent it off to confirm. I was having super mild and very irregular contractions at this point and truthfully felt like that test could come back either way. I sure wasn't feeling miserable by any stretch of the imagination. But the test came back confirming that this was the real deal indeed, and they started the process of admitting me. (I was about 4cm dilated at this point.)

After a gazillion questions and several attempts at getting my IV in (seriously... several. I hate this part.) I started feeling the contractions get a little stronger. It was now about 7:45am. I really wanted to get in the bath because this helped me relax a lot with Piper... so they checked me again and I was about 5.5cm and they reluctantly let me get in. (My nurse joked she had never delivered a bath baby and didn't want to today... but my doctor said she had once or twice, so it was all good.) ;)

By this time it was 8:00am. I was determined to just hang out in the bath for awhile. I was feeling pretty good and I knew I just needed to let my body do its thing and relax. I figured it was late enough in the morning that I could text a few people to let them know I was in labor and baby would arrive sometime today. And then I had a major contraction. And another. And one more. And I decided I needed to get out of the bath and call the nurse. 

By this time it was about 8:20. Jordan called my mom because I wanted her there for delivery. The midwife that was going to deliver sweet baby in place of Dr. Vetter came in. She was a rockstar and a serious blessing. She coached me through about 8 more contractions and then I was ready to push. 5 minutes later, sweet Grayson Michael was here and on my chest. A perfect and even 8 lb. in weight and 21" in length. 

My recovery was crazy awesome (yay third babies and midwives that keep the aftershock to your body to a minimum).  The girls came to meet their new baby brother by 11:30 that day. The doctors and nurses pretty much just let us do our own thing. And we haven't looked back since.

It feels a little surreal to be honest. We are a family of FIVE. Jordan and I sat at dinner tonight and just looked around at our littles and said, "is this real??" 

And it is real! And it is exhausting. And it is wonderful. And it is humbling. And it is just such a gift from our good good Father. 

So we pray that we will cherish each new day going forward. And for grace upon grace in each of our moments. And that these little people entrusted to us will know that the God who knit them together will walk with them in each of their moments and extend to them the greatest gift - Himself - if they would just call upon His name. 

#feelinggrateful 

Gray Gray

Grayson is a whopping 7 days old today and we celebrated with a weight check at the lactation clinic. Little man is a GREAT eater... already back to his birth weight today, rocking a solid 8 lb. and 0.5 oz. 

He's been sleeping well already... usually giving me a solid 4-5 hour stretch from 8pm-12/1am and then every 3 or so hours after that. Not bad, little buddy!

During the day he sleeps and sleeps and graces us with beautiful steely blue eyes for a few sessions in the morning and afternoon. He is as chill as can be and his big sisters LOVE holding him and kissing him and bringing him colored pictures and toys and anything mama needs. 

Piper is just oh-so-gentle and tender and I can tell her heart just hurts whenever she hears Grayson make the tiniest little peep. I usually hear the frantic pitter patter of her feet anytime he cries as she rushes to bring me a pacifier. (Thankfully she hasn't decided that she deserves that little paci again and it's been only for the "little baby.") :) 

Both girls refer to him as Gray or Baby Gray Gray, and it melts me. Emberly is also rocking the big sister thing again, though slightly less interested in all things little man than Piper is. This is old territory to her. :) That being said, she has had a few tough days of adjusting... but we are hoping that is entirely due to a lingering cold and coming down from the holiday crazies and weeks of sickness in our house. Either way, she's been super helpful as well, and seems like such a big kid to me suddenly. 

The days all blur together from this hazy sleep deprived state I've now entered into. I'm not expecting to emerge anytime soon. But I'm feeling just so very thankful to be in it with my rockstar husband and three precious little people.