Spazz-Mom

Dear Life,

Last night I was reading through old blog posts about my sweet Emberly at 6-months to compare what was going on in her little world to what Piper is doing these days.  I'm not sure why, but it is so interesting to me to remember what was important in our world and how different yet similar my sweet girls are. 

Anywho - as I was reading, I was just chuckling to myself at what a spazzy-mama I was with Emberly.  I was reading about how I was just starting to let Emberly cry it out at nap time and attempting to convince her to nap in her own crib all through the day.  And it just made me think... was Emberly really that terrible of a napper?  Or was I that spazzy of a parent?  I'm totally going with choice number two.  I held Em through naps just because the sweet sleeping baby thing was awesome.  She didn't have to learn to sleep on her own until I hit a place of desperation that I couldn't do that anymore.  And then once that happened, I freaked out that she would make even a bit of a cry when I tried to lay her down.  Piper hasn't had that luxury.  She's slept in her crib by herself from day one, naps and all.  And it is awesome to not need to transition now.  And when she fusses at night, unless she is really wailing, I let her fuss.  And she goes back to sleep on her own.  I think if Em made even a tiny little squeak at night I fed her.  Without fail.  Until she was probably 8 or 9 months old.  What was I thinking??? I was totally missing out on awesome sleep.  And not teaching her how to self-soothe and get back to sleep on her own.

I don't feel the need to analyze every night of sleep anymore.  Piper has rough nights and needs me some times more than others.  But so does Emberly.  And I won't ever know what it is that makes them need that more sometimes than others.  Teeth?  Bad dream?  Tummy ache?  Stuffy nose?  Too much stimulation?  Held too much?  Held too little?  Who KNOWS! 

And right now?  I'm listening to Piper, who just woke up, babble away in her room, happy as can be.  I think I would have instantly stopped what I was doing and dashed in there when E woke up.
Oh I'm funny.  And oh-so-glad I only have to be a first time mom once.