Loving the Little Years

I've been re-reading this sweet little book called "Loving the Little Years" by Rachel Jankovic. If you have small children, this is really a must read. I don't say that about many books (mostly because who has time to read when you have littles anyway?!?) but the author of this book describes herself as "in the trenches" as she's writing this book. It isn't a book where she's looking back at all of the fond memories of her children growing up and she's already forgotten the sleepless nights, quarelling between children, messes and "stuff" that comes along with raising littles. She has five kids, three in diapers, two of them twins. So she gets it. And it's short. Just a tiny little paperback with two or three page chapters, all completely unrelated little stories that you can read while brushing your teeth or quickly before you fall into a deep sleep at night.

I read this book the first time when Emberly was just a few months old. I mused at the little stories and mostly just looked forward to what life would be like... with one... or two or how ever many the Lord decided to bring into our life. I had this sunshiny little view of what disciplining Emberly would look like, and how obedient she'd be, and how I'd surely be able to laugh at the little struggles that would arrise here and there.

And now? Well now I have a whole new view of the fact that nobody had to teach my sweet little bambino how to throw a tantrum, hit when she's mad, give a dirty look, or throw food on the floor. I had no idea how it would frustrate me. How I'd wish I could fix it. How I'd wonder what I am supposed to do. What is the right or wrong way to approach the situation, or if I'd be able to really mess up my child by my responses?

And for that? There's grace. Thank you, Jesus, for grace.

But back to the book. The author gives these lovely little illustrations of how their family responds to the messes in life. Or at least how to frame your mindset... because let's be honest, most of the time, that is the problem. MY mindset. MY attitude. MY heart. MY issues.

At one point the author speaks of "Thanksters and Cranksters," and how they try to teach their children that thankfulness is the perfect antidote to fussing (aka being cranky). When they "catch" a child of theirs being downright cranky (i.e. "When are we going to get there?!? I hate riding in the car. My brother is sitting too close to me. It is too warm in here!) they try to help them think of things that are positive and spin the situation. (I know that you are feeling like this trip is taking forever, but isn't it great that we have a car with air conditioning to ride in instead of having to walk? What else can you think of that you are thankful for? Aren't you glad that you get to see out the window? Isn't it a lovely thing that God gave you eyes to see all of his beautiful creation? What can you think of that you enjoy looking at??) They call the first kind of person a crankster, and the second a thankster. Which would you rather be?

And all the while I'm thinking about how I will help Emberly see this way, I'm realizing that I in fact need to do this in my own life. Oh you're feeling miserable and sorry for yourself that you've puked 4 times today? Aren't you glad your hormones are in high gear so that this baby can grow inside of you? Aren't you excited to meet this child - this LIFE that is new and fresh and only God knows about?

Yes. Yes I really am. And I'd actually much rather be a thankster than a crankster.

Oh you're feeling sorry for yourself that your child didn't nap today? Aren't you glad she slept 14 hours through the night last night? Isn't it a wonderful thing that she is so sun-shiny in the midst of not napping? Don't you love how she laughs and sings and wants to be involved in all you are doing all day long because you are her mama... the only one that can fill those shoes in her life?

Oh you're feeling grouchy that you had to go to the grocery store today? Aren't you glad you have money to buy groceries? Aren't you thrilled that you can provide healthy meals for your family?

Now, it'd be easy to read these and think that I was even reprimanding myself for my lack of thankfulness (which I could easily do), but that isn't the point. The point is that my heart gets all goofy sometimes and forgets. And when I ask, "Aren't you... xxx??" it isn't sarcasm, but instead, "really Molly! Look! This is incredible and are complete gifts from God! Don't forget!" It is all in love. And that is what I want to teach Emberly. But first, it needs to be real in my own heart.

Anywho. This got very long. But you should order the book. She is much more eloquent than I am. And you'll just fly through it. I re-read it in two evenings after tucking Emberly into bed. And I don't stay up late. In fact, it is now 8:45pm, and this is probably the lastest I've stayed up in 3 weeks. No lie.

That's all.

 

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